Remembering James

A few weeks ago I was surprised by a beautiful gift in our mailbox. I quickly opened the package to find a sweet little pillow for Margaret--how precious! As I was pulling out the remaining tissue, I realized that there was another pillow in the bag, a pillow for James. This kind act of remembering James truly touched me.

Thank you, Ruth!

One year ago today Wade and I lost our dear little boy, James Walter. It has been a long, hard week recalling all of the moments leading up to his stillbirth, the long month of illnesses, the decrease in his movement, the increasing contractions, the horrifying looks of the nurses in the triage, and the shock and pain of meeting James and losing him all in one day.

We can't believe a year has already passed, and it kills us to imagine what James would have been like as a one year old. We will never know him, and although that is so painful to realize, we feel blessed to have Margaret Belle in our lives. The sermon at church this week was focused on hope, and our pastor said it best when he saw Margaret after the service. Looking down at our little girl, he said, "There is hope!"

Along with her big brother, Margaret has strengthened our faith and restored our hope for our future. A year ago we didn't know whether or not we would ever feel hopeful again or if we would be given the chance to experience true happiness. James taught us how precious life is, and Margaret is here to renew our spirits. What blessings they are!

Although James' tree has not bloomed yet,

if you look a little closer there are definitely gorgeous signs of life and beauty.

Margaret, Wade, and I met for a picnic today at Cheekwood.

I got a little creative and stood in the tree to get a different perspective.

Another beautiful shot--what an amazing garden!

We also enjoyed sitting on James' bench.
We looked through the quilted bag given to us by the hospital.
It holds his blue day-gown, hat, quilt, lamb, pictures, and many letters.
A very special letter from our brother-in-law still touches us and holds even more meaning a year later.

To our precious Margaret:

Sometimes I may hug you a little too tight,
I may even check on you ten times a night,

Sometimes I may kiss you a little too much,
Cling to you, sing to you, tickle and such,
As you grow up you may notice me kissing your nose,
Touching your hair, feeling your toes,

I may cry when you walk, laugh when you talk,
Scream when you're late, coming home from your date,
I may very often pull you near
Because I don't want you to see my tears,

I never will want you to have my fears,
Because I need you to know I hold you so dear,
Cause you see, I'm not just your mother,
A long time ago, I lost another.

author unknown

Thank you, Danielle, for sharing this poem!

Wade and I also want to thank all of our friends and family for their continued love and support. We truly appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers this week!

I know the plans I have for you . . . Jeremiah 29:11

Update and Margaret's First Adventure

Our Beautiful Angel

(I'm trying to work on the red eye remover!)

Margaret had another wonderful check-up this week. She is still battling reflux and some minor digestion issues, but she is gaining weight and that is all that matters. At Monday's appointment she weighed 7 pounds 4 ounces; she gained 13 ounces in 13 days! Dr. B. increased her dose of reflux medicine, and we will see if that helps any.

In the last few days, we have started somewhat of a routine at night, which is super exciting for mom and dad. There is now a 4 to 4 1/2 hour period in between feedings, so Wade and I can sleep for almost 3 hours straight!

She is very alert during the day now and will even look you in the eyes. She loves looking around and being apart of the activity. Lately the beautiful weather has allowed us the opportunity to take longs walks, and she loves the stroller.

Next week she will receive her final synagis shot, which helps protect her from RSV. We are very excited about the warm weather and the end of cold/flu season!!!

Uncle Josh has the magic touch!

A few weekends ago, Wade and I took Margaret on her first out-of-town trip and traveled up to my parents' mountain house in Monteagle. Unfortunately, it was one of those foggy weekends on the mountain raining most of the time, but that just made sitting by the fire even more enjoyable. Margaret loved it up there, especially the extra attention from Mama Susie and Daddaddy. It was nice to have eight arms instead of just four!

Sleeping with Mama Susie

Rocking by the fire with Daddaddy



All Smiles on the Mountain!

2 Months & Due Date!!!

Say Something, Margaret!!!

(That's what cousin Charlie kept requesting when he met her.)

Aunt Lolli loving on Miss Margaret

Activity Gym Time

I love my Daddy!

Well it has been a crazy couple of weeks--sorry for the delay in updates. Wade and I barely have enough time to eat and shower. You would think that we brought home eight premature babies!!!

Unfortunately as Margaret has matured, she has developed pretty bad reflux. The last couple of nights it has escalated into projectile vomit--yeah!!! She is taking some medicine for reflux which helps decrease the amount of spit-up, but it doesn't eliminate it. Reflux has also caused some sleepless nights, because Margaret needs to be held upright for at least 30 minutes after each feeding. Oh well, some day we will sleep again!

All of this spit-up and vomiting caused a little delay in Miss Margaret's weight gain. She definitely continued to gain; it just slowed down a little bit. So after many weight checks with the pediatrician and a visit to a lactation consultant, I think we are back on track. I look forward to the day when we have some sort of feeding schedule; that will definitely help with the sleep and weight gain.

Last Friday, March 6, we celebrated Margaret's due date. It was wild to think that we could just now be meeting our precious little girl! We have already made so many amazing memories with her; Wade and I feel extra special to get those eight extra weeks!

On Monday Maggie Moo was 2 Months Old!!! She now weighs 6 pounds 7 ounces (2 1/2 pounds more than her birth weight) and is 19 1/4 inches long (4 1/4 inches longer). Some of her preemie outfits are actually too tight, especially in the length. She continues to wear newborn diapers and clothes. Although I want her to grow and be a chunky little baby, I hate to rush this time. I love her size and all of these sweet sacks and bubbles.

That is about it for now. Please pray for her reflux, weight gain, and sleep. Take care!

Visitors, Shots, and Photo Shoots

Happy and Healthy!!!

(on my new pink blanket made by Mama Susie)

Sweet Dreams

Sleepy Time

Crosby came for a visit!

Bundled in my favorite chair!

My first photograph with G-G-Ma!
(Wade's grandmother)

My first photograph with Great-Granddaddy Bob!
(Melissa's Grandfather)

Ouch! My first big girl band-aid!

Wow--Margaret continues to amaze us with her adorable personality and her incredible strength! Yesterday we had our third visit to the pediatrician's office. Dr. B. said that Margaret looks great and continues to grow at a steady rate. This week she weighed 5 pounds 6 ounces; she gained 5 1/2 ounces in one week! So Dr. B. said that we could wait two weeks to have our next visit, and I can try to nurse her for most of her feedings!!! Unfortunately, Margaret received her first round of shots in Dr. B.'s office and showed off her lovely cry/scream, but our sweet nurse, Faith, was very quick and comforting.

Margaret also had a few visitors last week. My sweet friend, Danielle, stopped by last Friday with her 7 week old baby boy, Crosby. He is such an adorable little man and already weighs 8 1/2 pounds! We had a fun visit catching up and staring at our sweet little miracles. Thank you, Dr. B.! (Danielle and I met in Dr. B.'s office last summer and share similar experiences. We were both high risk patients, and Dr. B. spoiled us with his incredible care. Danielle has been a great friend to me throughout this pregnancy and shares a strong faith in God. We both feel truly blessed!)

G-G-Ma also came for a visit! She held Margaret for the first time and admired her coos and grunts. She shared some fascinating stories of the family trip to the Galapagos Islands. She also described the moment that the family heard the glorious news of Margaret's birth and the exciting toast that the entire family shared on the boat!!!

On Monday, Great-Granddaddy Bob came over for lunch with Mama Susie. He held Margaret for the first time and just loved staring at her adorable features. Miss Margaret is his thirteenth great-grandchild--pretty incredible!

We continue to stay healthy over here, even though Wade and I are not sleeping. Our precious angel seems to be a night-owl and loves to show off her noises at night. The pediatrician actually says this is a good thing. Margaret's increased alertness and strong cries show that her brain is continuing to mature and is working.

Thank you for your prayers---she is just a doll, and we feel truly blessed to have her in our lives!

Weekend Fun

G-G-Ma's Family Crib--we love it!!!

Mabel meets Margaret---just a little jealous!

4 Weeks Old!!!

Margaret and Daddy under James' tree!

James' Bench at Cheekwood --Thank you Uncle Neil and Aunt Debbie!

What a wonderful week and weekend! It was so nice to have Daddy home all week. He is incredible and has been very helpful! Plus, we got in some much needed family time. Friday morning we celebrated Margaret's 4 Week Old Birthday! Later that evening, Mabel came home from my parents' house, and we introduced our little girls. Mabel was not that interested. She sniffed Margaret for a few seconds and then went straight to bed.

We were pretty lazy on Saturday, because I was recovering from an allergic reaction to a new medication. It looks like that last hospital stay wasn't necessary. I had the same symptoms two weeks ago (shortness of breath, chest pain, low grade fever) and had started the same antibiotic. Anyway I stopped the medication and now feel much better.

Today we took Margaret on her first ride in the stroller around Cheekwood! What a gorgeous day! We introduced Margaret to James' tree and bench. The tree is bare right now, but we know come springtime it will be covered in those beautiful, delicate leaves. James has been heavy on our minds lately, because Margaret looks so much like him. We see him in her mouth and her eyes. How special--he will always be with us, and Margaret will love our visits to Cheekwood to play around her brother's tree!

Margaret's First Outings

Margaret is not quite sure

about leaving the house so soon!

Margaret meets her pediatrician, a new Dr. B.

Margaret's favorite spot in the house!

She found her thumb!
Unfortunately, I look like a duck!

Margaret meets Dr. B.!!!
We love Dr. B. ---thank you for helping us get Margaret here safely!!!

Wade, Margaret, and I enjoyed two different outings today. The first one was a visit to Margaret's pediatrician, Dr. B. She thinks Margaret looks great and would like to see her weekly for the next few weeks just to make sure she is gaining weight and staying healthy. Margaret now weighs 4lbs. 13 oz.--what a big girl!!! (Or at least we think so--when you are around premie babies all day in the NICU, 4 lbs. seems huge!)

After a little break at home, we traveled downtown for Mommy's appointment with the original Dr. B. just to check my blood pressure. Dr. B. was just glowing when he bounded into the room. He had no idea Margaret was even out of the NICU yet. He said he was planning on seeing her tomorrow in the NICU during his weekly Margaret visit (how precious!). So we spent most of the visit talking about Maggie Moo (Wade's new nickname for her), and Dr. B. held her the whole time. He has been with us through so many highs and lows---witnessing the worst and best days of our lives. There are not enough words to express how much we appreciate his devotion to our family. He always said that his ultimate goal was to help us have a child and now we do! I am so glad that he was there to deliver Margaret and complete my surgery---again, I count my blessings!

So it was a great day! I think Margaret is exhausted because she did not want to take her afternoon bottle. Maybe she will actually sleep tonight!

Home Sweet Home

Precious Angel

Margaret's Pod

Another Angle

Cute and Content

3 Weeks Old!!!

Welcome Home, Margaret!!!

Well after a surprise conversation with Dr. F. and the nurse yesterday, we found out that we would be coming home today. We were thrilled with the news but also very nervous to have Margaret all to ourselves (without monitors).

Last night we chose to room-in with Miss Margaret in the NICU. There is a little private room actually inside the NICU for parents to use the night before they take their babies home. So after Margaret's soapy bath and change of clothes, we left the electrodes off and wheeled her down to our room for the night. The nurse left every feeding up to us, so every three hours we took Margaret's temperature, changed her diaper, and fed her. I even tried nursing again (it worked for a good ten minutes or so).

Margaret is a doll! She makes the cutest noises---lots of coos and grunts, which she likes to share in the middle of the night. She hardly ever cries (Wade claims that she is saving it up for this weekend). Even though we only got an hour or two of sleep, it was a wonderful evening and provided us with the confidence we needed to take her home.

Around 9:45 AM this morning, we brought our precious angel home. It has been a wonderful day full of kisses and contentment. We are so thankful for all of the thoughts and prayers for our little girl. We are truly blessed and know that God is monitoring all of our lives. We will put our trust in Him.