Remembering James

A few weeks ago I was surprised by a beautiful gift in our mailbox. I quickly opened the package to find a sweet little pillow for Margaret--how precious! As I was pulling out the remaining tissue, I realized that there was another pillow in the bag, a pillow for James. This kind act of remembering James truly touched me.

Thank you, Ruth!

One year ago today Wade and I lost our dear little boy, James Walter. It has been a long, hard week recalling all of the moments leading up to his stillbirth, the long month of illnesses, the decrease in his movement, the increasing contractions, the horrifying looks of the nurses in the triage, and the shock and pain of meeting James and losing him all in one day.

We can't believe a year has already passed, and it kills us to imagine what James would have been like as a one year old. We will never know him, and although that is so painful to realize, we feel blessed to have Margaret Belle in our lives. The sermon at church this week was focused on hope, and our pastor said it best when he saw Margaret after the service. Looking down at our little girl, he said, "There is hope!"

Along with her big brother, Margaret has strengthened our faith and restored our hope for our future. A year ago we didn't know whether or not we would ever feel hopeful again or if we would be given the chance to experience true happiness. James taught us how precious life is, and Margaret is here to renew our spirits. What blessings they are!

Although James' tree has not bloomed yet,

if you look a little closer there are definitely gorgeous signs of life and beauty.

Margaret, Wade, and I met for a picnic today at Cheekwood.

I got a little creative and stood in the tree to get a different perspective.

Another beautiful shot--what an amazing garden!

We also enjoyed sitting on James' bench.
We looked through the quilted bag given to us by the hospital.
It holds his blue day-gown, hat, quilt, lamb, pictures, and many letters.
A very special letter from our brother-in-law still touches us and holds even more meaning a year later.

To our precious Margaret:

Sometimes I may hug you a little too tight,
I may even check on you ten times a night,

Sometimes I may kiss you a little too much,
Cling to you, sing to you, tickle and such,
As you grow up you may notice me kissing your nose,
Touching your hair, feeling your toes,

I may cry when you walk, laugh when you talk,
Scream when you're late, coming home from your date,
I may very often pull you near
Because I don't want you to see my tears,

I never will want you to have my fears,
Because I need you to know I hold you so dear,
Cause you see, I'm not just your mother,
A long time ago, I lost another.

author unknown

Thank you, Danielle, for sharing this poem!

Wade and I also want to thank all of our friends and family for their continued love and support. We truly appreciate all of the thoughts and prayers this week!

I know the plans I have for you . . . Jeremiah 29:11