Monday, November 3, 2008

Wade & Love

Lately, I have wrestled with the idea of love and how it can hurt to love someone so much and then lose them. Love is probably the most precious gift that God has given us--the ability to love one another. First, there is the love for our parents (children, siblings, grandparents, pets, etc.), an unconditional love. We are born with this love; it is so natural and easy (most of the time). It can bring us the greatest joy and the deepest pain throughout life. Then there is the love for our friends, which is more conditional; sometimes this love comes and goes, and it is not always natural.

There is also the love that joins a couple in marriage. I believe that God has created this love. Through your commitments to one another, you vow to be partners throughout life, to support each other, and to grow in your faith together as a family.

God has blessed me with that kind of love. Eight years ago I was lucky enough to meet Wade, and I realized immediately that he was different than other guys. Besides being extremely handsome, he has the best personality and outlook on life. He is definitely a glass half-full kind of guy and the most humble person that I know. He is calm while I can be (just a little) over-emotional. He is passionate about the environment, plants, trees, etc. while I am more passionate about education and the arts. His faith is strong and secure while I tend to worry. I love what he teaches me daily and the way that our personalities compliment each others.

For the last four and half years of marriage, I thought I understood our wedding vows. We were supporting each other and growing as partners. However, God had bigger plans for our marriage and lives. He blessed us with James. I know that it is hard to talk about and believe in 'silver linings'. However, I believe that James gave us many gifts and will continue to the rest of our lives. James taught his parents how to love.

I had no idea how wonderful my husband really was. Yes, I find him attractive physically, and I love his personality and intelligence. However, the way that he took care of me and opened-up emotionally during that week in the hospital and the many weeks that followed was the greatest gift. I did not know we were capable of loving each other that much. He knew exactly what I needed and was right by my side through it all. He held my hand, climbed into my hospital bed to hold me, talked with our visitors, and took notes on my medication. He was completely there for me throughout those awful days and weeks trying to help me heal physically, when I know he was broken mentally and emotionally. He was completely selfless and available. I cannot even imagine what it was like for him to go to work every day and come home to me every night. His strength was extraordinary.

I am just so overwhelmed with love and thankful for the many gifts that God has given us. God's love is the ultimate gift. He loves us, even though we sin and have many flaws (even Wade has a few). That is what makes us human, I guess. If only we could love like God--then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much when we lose the ones we love.

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