If Only in My Dreams

My sweet husband and I celebrated our 5th Anniversary yesterday, and although we were not in a very ideal location we still managed to have a very special day. We had always talked about returning to our honeymoon spot to celebrate our anniversary or spending a long weekend at a Bed and Breakfast or maybe even skiing. However, the last year taught us that we really don't know what each new day will bring. We can plan, but we have to understand that life is not predictable, easy, or fair. It's during those times when life doesn't go as planned that you can actually learn something about your life and your relationships.

So we started off our celebration with Star Bagel (one of our favorites). Then later in the day the nurses took us on a tour of the NICU. It was nice to familiarize ourselves with this unit and know that our little girl will receive state-of-the-art care in their new facility (if she even has to go there). For dinner I actually sat at a table, and Wade picked up a delicious meal from Flemings. Who knew they would fulfill a take-out order! We dimmed the lights and played Christmas music on our Ipod--very romantic, never mind the support stockings!

Then we cuddled in my hospital bed and watched our wedding ceremony and reception. It was so much fun to see our friends and loved ones celebrating. The footage from the reception includes many hilarious moments on the dance floor and special conversations and memories. However, watching the ceremony was my favorite part. The verses, homily, prayers, and vows now have such a different meaning in our lives. We watch this DVD every year on our anniversary, but this year those words touched me in a new way. I have a little more insight into what they mean and how they are woven into our lives because of James.

Last Christmas we dreamt of this year and how different it would be. Our little man would adorn our Christmas card. We would take his first picture with Santa. Our family would attend the earlier service on Christmas Eve, so that we could take sweet James. They were wonderful dreams, and although we do not get to experience them this year I feel a sense of comfort. I know that God will continue to surprise us with gifts--ones that we desire so dearly and ones that we do not even know of yet. We did not get the relaxing trip on an island or the romantic meal in the mountains, but Wade and I still have each other, our dreams, and hope that the Lord will provide us with our desire to have children.